Category Archives: Fiction

The Festival Revisited (A Lovecraftian Pastiche)

What follows is a very rough first draft of a short story, hacked out in three hours when I got in tonight. It’s not really a Cthulhu Mythos story – in fact it is not – but it is I … Continue reading

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Fiction: 1982 – A Christmas Ghost Story

OK, so it’s 1982. Thursday evening, the day before Christmas Eve, and I’m walking home in crisp white snow, humming “Hymn” by Ultravox. I stop to look at some mysterious footprints, surely those of a giant panther or wolf in the crisp frozen snow? and then turn away as three older kids on BMX’s wobble unsteadily by. I want a BMX – but no way will I get one, not this Christmas. (Or the electronic Tron home arcade game I’d seen on TV). Nope, I’m due to get a “sensible bike”, but that will do me I guess. I was walking back from the Scout’s carol service, and no one had asked me to sing, but then at 12 your voice can go any time. Some of my mates, like Paul, well he already has a voice like Darth Vader. My voice, it’s more Minnie Mouse. Continue reading

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Fiction: Ethel — A Christmas Ghost Story

I wrote a little Christmas ghost story, which may amuse some of my friends. It’s a story I have been trying to write on and off since the Most Haunted days, when it came to me one Christmas Eve in a dream. It’s a little unfair, because to really understand it relies on you getting the joke, and spotting the references — which I suspect very few of you are likely to know. Still if you do it may amuse, and even if not I hope it is mildly spooky. This is in lieu of a Christmas card or Christmas message, and yes I know it’s not very good, but some stories just demand to be written… Continue reading

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CJ’s Strange Games: Cthulhu Live 2000, “To Play The King”

It’s all a game, and nothing more, needless to say. But it was huge fun, and while in today’s more paranoid world we might not be able to do it, as even blatantly fake guns and people dressed as monsters may upset the public, back then the police just laughed out loud and were happy we warned them where and when it would all occur. They were fantastic, and we went to huge lengths to ensure the public were not disturbed: something many larp groups have failed badly, indeed potentially tragically at. I won’t name the players, as many of them are now “respectable”: I doubt anyone can recognize them from these pictures, but if you want to be removed just let me know. What follows is a piece written by one of the players after the first game, in character — it should give you a very real idea of how it all worked out! Although it looks terribly amateurish it’s actually a lot more intense than it sounds. 🙂 Continue reading

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Buy my new book and release your inner psychic powers! Out today!

“CJ Romer is undoubtedly among one of the great mystics of our age, and a 7=6 Ineptus Exemptus of the Order of the Silver Twilight. In this book he finally reveals the results of years of occult study at Durenmar, his mastery of the obscure tomes of Bonisagus, and his esoteric heroquest with his friend DC to find the legendary lost treasure of the Cathars. Learn how with a German Secret Master named Axel he rediscovered the lost secret of Remote Homeopathy, and the terrible inner secrets of Romerian Witchcraft. A practical Self-Initiation Guide, this book can make you EVERY BIT AS PSYCHIC AS CJ, GUARANTEED!!!!” Continue reading

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CJ’s Halloween

Awful doggerel, but you get the spirit?  An autobiographical scream of angst!   CJ’s Halloween   It’s Halloween night as I shudder in fear Heart racing as awful the hour draws near I sweat and I tremble as soon I … Continue reading

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Bad attempts at Fiction: The Case of the Haunted Dorm, part 1.

The Case of the Haunted Dorm

(being in the main the first great adventure of the magnificent Psychic Detective Lars Gunnarsen and his pathetic, dimwitted associates, as told by his friend and lackey, general dogsbody and social secretary, CJ).

All stories must begin somewhere, so mine begins here, in a shabby room in a college dormitory. It is now six days since I arrived at university; I have still never kissed a girl, driven a car or smoked dope, though I have conjured a spirit to visible appearance. I guess that counted for something? Yes, I know you don’t believe me, and neither does anyone else – well except QC. Continue reading

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