Category Archives: Dreadful attempts at humour

My Friend Fancies You – Gaming Romance

So I’m back from Peaky, the game writing weekend, after a few hours on site. I left at breakfast on the first full day, with a full refund and a lift to a train station, but still pretty dejected and … Continue reading

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The Festival Revisited (A Lovecraftian Pastiche)

What follows is a very rough first draft of a short story, hacked out in three hours when I got in tonight. It’s not really a Cthulhu Mythos story – in fact it is not – but it is I … Continue reading

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Fiction: 1982 – A Christmas Ghost Story

OK, so it’s 1982. Thursday evening, the day before Christmas Eve, and I’m walking home in crisp white snow, humming “Hymn” by Ultravox. I stop to look at some mysterious footprints, surely those of a giant panther or wolf in the crisp frozen snow? and then turn away as three older kids on BMX’s wobble unsteadily by. I want a BMX – but no way will I get one, not this Christmas. (Or the electronic Tron home arcade game I’d seen on TV). Nope, I’m due to get a “sensible bike”, but that will do me I guess. I was walking back from the Scout’s carol service, and no one had asked me to sing, but then at 12 your voice can go any time. Some of my mates, like Paul, well he already has a voice like Darth Vader. My voice, it’s more Minnie Mouse. Continue reading

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Fresher’s Week in Cheltenham: Six Things I Wish I Had Known

Another year, another Fresher’s Week about to start here in Cheltenham. A friend from the University of Gloucestershire told me the new students arrived today, but it was only when I met some friendly types who started a conversation in a … Continue reading

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Via Media: Reflections on the Appointment of Bishop Richard Dawkins

OK, just to make absolutely clear – this was my April Fool’s joke for 2012. No Bishops were harmed in the making of this post. I expect many people were surprised, not least “New Atheists” and devout members of the … Continue reading

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Fiction: Ethel — A Christmas Ghost Story

I wrote a little Christmas ghost story, which may amuse some of my friends. It’s a story I have been trying to write on and off since the Most Haunted days, when it came to me one Christmas Eve in a dream. It’s a little unfair, because to really understand it relies on you getting the joke, and spotting the references — which I suspect very few of you are likely to know. Still if you do it may amuse, and even if not I hope it is mildly spooky. This is in lieu of a Christmas card or Christmas message, and yes I know it’s not very good, but some stories just demand to be written… Continue reading

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Card Guessing Success Hints at New Physics

by Every Science Staff Reporter Everywhere Astonishing new results that may suggest that the Standard Model, Common Sense and Randi’s Law have all been violated have been reported from the Gloucestershire basement lab of Dr Jerome Jeromesen (East Cheams Diploma … Continue reading

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The Tobermory Effect: Facebook Friends Fiasco?

It started when I suddenly began to see the possibilities. I have long been a fan of Saki, HH Munro,and one of his best lines came to me. In Saki’s short story Tobermory a cat is taught to speak English, and his sardonic observations on the things he has witnessed cause havoc at a country house party. The line I thought of was this…

Miss Scrawen, who wrote fiercely sensuous poetry and led a blameless life, merely displayed irritation; if you are methodical and virtuous in private you don’t necessarily want everyone to know it. Continue reading

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On Being A Sceptic: the Third Sermon of the Reverend Jerome

Good morning all. It will come as no surprise to regular attendees here at St. Dawkens that I am late: I do wish however that the parish newsletter would stop referring to me as the “late Rev. Jerome”. I am not quite ready for the Elysian fields yet.

Today is of course the feast of three of our most important saints, and that shall set the tone for this mornings discourse, away from the “niceness of God”, and in to more controversial territory. I think we all must first pause for a moment, and meditate silently upon the Bearded One who watches over us — St. James the Randi (1), whose thaumurturgical miracles are known to all of us, and let us first praise his works —

Priest: May he deliver us from Woo. Continue reading

Posted in atheism, Debunking myths, Dreadful attempts at humour, Paranormal, Religion, Science, Social commentary desecrated | 5 Comments

Buy my new book and release your inner psychic powers! Out today!

“CJ Romer is undoubtedly among one of the great mystics of our age, and a 7=6 Ineptus Exemptus of the Order of the Silver Twilight. In this book he finally reveals the results of years of occult study at Durenmar, his mastery of the obscure tomes of Bonisagus, and his esoteric heroquest with his friend DC to find the legendary lost treasure of the Cathars. Learn how with a German Secret Master named Axel he rediscovered the lost secret of Remote Homeopathy, and the terrible inner secrets of Romerian Witchcraft. A practical Self-Initiation Guide, this book can make you EVERY BIT AS PSYCHIC AS CJ, GUARANTEED!!!!” Continue reading

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