Buy my new book and release your inner psychic powers! Out today!

Please note this was my 2011 April Fool’s Joke – it is NOT to be taken seriously!


Hello! I am very excited to announce my new book, detailing my spiritual adventures and a guaranteed path to unleashing your full psychic power! Reasonably priced, the book launch today will be accompanied by a book signing and I’ll also be performing auric realignment, spiritual massage and colonic irrigation of the chakras for the lucky few who get to attend the signing!

my book - published on April 1st 2011

Just $126.66!

This book has it all, all the accumulated wisdom I have gained from studying at the feet of great masters. Once I doubted the very existence of psychic powers, but years of studying have slowly revealed to me the magical wisdom of my Danish ancestry, the healing power of hops, and the deep secrets of the multiverse. With this book you can master them too!!! Sceptics will laugh and point and write blogs about you, but armed with these powers you can turn Hayley Stevens and her ilk in to a frog. (I turned Susan Blackmore in to a newt…. she got better.)

Learn how to

* Attract women — by spiritual gravity! * Become irresistible to NICE men! * Develop your Auric Armour! * Summon pixies to do your house chores! *Remote Homeopathy! * The Von Juntz formula! * Dream your way to Riches! * Get research funding from the SPR! * Banish Wiseman and other household pests! *Read the Prunes! * Cast a Deadly Spell! * See through peoples clothes with the Intellego Animal rite! * Pass through the gates of Alkoth! *Locate the Holy Grail in Stafford Castle! *The Secret of the Godlearners! *What Olaus Wormius was too scared to translate in the Necronomicon! *Look sharper than a Supermodel! *Turn Sceptics in to Small Amphibians! * The Forbidden Secret of Mazille! * Fly without Ryan Air! * Improve your Quidditch Technique!

Let’s face it, bending spoons is so 1974. With my esoteric training you will be able to bend minds, starting with your own!!!

From the publishers website —

“CJ Romer is undoubtedly among one of the great mystics of our age, and a 7=6 Ineptus Exemptus of the Order of the Silver Twilight. In this book he finally reveals the results of years of occult study at Durenmar, his mastery of the obscure tomes of Bonisagus, and his esoteric heroquest with his friend DC to find the legendary lost treasure of the Cathars. Learn how with a German Secret Master named Axel he rediscovered the lost secret of Remote Homeopathy, and  the terrible  inner secrets of Romerian Witchcraft. A practical Self-Initiation Guide, this book can make you EVERY BIT AS PSYCHIC AS CJ, GUARANTEED!!!!”

I do hope you will all rush out and buy a copy this morning???

cj x

About Chris Jensen Romer

I am a profoundly dull, tedious and irritable individual. I have no friends apart from two equally ill mannered cats, and a lunatic kitten. I am a ghosthunter by profession, and professional cat herder. I write stuff and do TV things and play games. It's better than being real I find.
This entry was posted in Dreadful attempts at humour, Fiction, Paranormal, Unclassifiable!, Uninteresting to others whitterings about my life. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Buy my new book and release your inner psychic powers! Out today!

  1. Andrew Garley says:

    Nice one CJ.
    Good luck with your book
    All the best Andy

  2. Angelo says:

    April fools day to you too. 🙂

  3. These claims are true. Even from reading the blurb I can feel a powerful effect as my abilities are subtly realigned with the Romerian Gnosis.

  4. Cunt says:

    Can I get a discount if I purchase an e-copy?

    Could you make an electronic copy, then copy it, then copy it, then copy it, eventually diluting it so that only some of the electrons carry the molecular memory of the original words?

    Wouldn’t your book work MUCH better, at much safer doses such as I describe?

  5. Pingback: Fools | The Rather Friendly Skeptic

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