Awful doggerel, but you get the spirit? An autobiographical scream of angst!
It’s Halloween night as I shudder in fear
Heart racing as awful the hour draws near
I sweat and I tremble as soon I will see
The horrors they broadcast on Living TV
Now once Halloween was just a rap on my door
Kids proud of ASBOs, all covered in gore
They chuckle and threaten and extort from me
Still I’d rather be robbed than watch Living TV
Back in the 90’s I ran Cheltenham’s ghost team
My insane committee would force me to scream
But I’d rather be infamous with the C.P.R.G.
Than the bathos of tonight’s show on Living TV
Teaching students about psi was a dreary fate
They’d mess up my ghost hunts, get drunk, and date
The Student Society knew little para-psychology
But a million times more than shown on Living TV
I read through the musty journals of the famed SPR
I took long coach rides to London, having no car
Grosse, Cornell, Cassirer and Playfair taught me
Yet none will be heard from this eve on Living TV
I know I have sinned, and whored myself for pay
I made a lot of paranormal TV, what can I say?
I signed on the dotted line, I needed cash you see
But it wasn’t all that bad, MY stuff for Living TV!
I got to meet Acorah, Yvette, Karl and the team
I lived in a nightmare that to some was a dream
Yet I felt they were good hearted and I took my fee
I’m proud I worked backstage for ANTIX and Living TV
So after Bad Psychics, JREF, UK Skeptics and more
I still felt the shows might open the door
To a popular understanding of topics dear to me
Yet now I realise that I sold my soul — to Living TV!
I’ve made so many dear friends, and enemies too
On the Most Haunted forum I’d sit an think through
Arguments and threads that were galling to me
But a million times better than Living TV!
So I’m filled with fear as the hours tick by
And I draw rapid breath as my fate I can scry
“Paranormal Investigation Live” is coming you see
And I scream then curse subscribing to Living TV…