CJ’s Halloween

Awful doggerel, but you get the spirit?  An autobiographical scream of angst!


CJ’s Halloween


It’s Halloween night as I shudder in fear

Heart racing as awful the hour draws near

I sweat and I tremble as soon I will see

The horrors they broadcast on Living TV


Now once Halloween was just a rap on my door

Kids proud of ASBOs, all covered in gore

They chuckle and threaten and extort from me

Still I’d rather be robbed than watch Living TV


Back in the 90’s I ran Cheltenham’s ghost team

My insane committee would force me to scream

But I’d rather be infamous with the C.P.R.G.

Than  the bathos of tonight’s show on Living TV


Teaching students about psi was a dreary fate

They’d mess up my ghost hunts, get drunk, and date

The Student Society knew little para-psychology

But a million times more than shown on Living TV


I read through the musty journals of the famed SPR

I took long coach rides to London, having no car

Grosse, Cornell, Cassirer and Playfair taught me

Yet none will be heard from this eve on Living TV


I know I have sinned, and whored myself for pay

I made a lot of paranormal TV, what can I say?

I signed on the dotted line, I needed cash you see

But it wasn’t all that bad, MY stuff for Living TV!


I got to meet Acorah, Yvette, Karl and the team

I lived in a nightmare that to some was a dream

Yet I felt they were good hearted and I took my fee

I’m proud I worked backstage for ANTIX and Living TV


So after Bad Psychics, JREF, UK Skeptics and more

I still felt the shows might open the door

To a popular understanding of topics dear to me

Yet now I realise that I sold my soul — to Living TV!


I’ve made so many dear friends, and enemies too

On the Most Haunted forum I’d sit an think through

Arguments and threads that were galling to me

But a million times better than Living TV!


So I’m filled with fear as the hours tick by

And I draw rapid breath as my fate I can scry

“Paranormal Investigation Live” is coming you see

And I scream then  curse subscribing to Living TV… 

About Chris Jensen Romer

I am a profoundly dull, tedious and irritable individual. I have no friends apart from two equally ill mannered cats, and a lunatic kitten. I am a ghosthunter by profession, and professional cat herder. I write stuff and do TV things and play games. It's better than being real I find.
This entry was posted in Dreadful attempts at humour, Fiction, Paranormal, Social commentary desecrated, Uninteresting to others whitterings about my life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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